“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
– Mel Robbins

What even is forgiveness? A word I genuinely don't understand. (I mean the actual definition). So I looked it up.:

"To stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offence, flaw, or mistake."

That’s a purely internal process, a feeling, a letting go.
So why is it treated like something you give to another person? Like some moral handshake to prove you’re the bigger person?

Let’s be real: you can release feelings of anger without uttering the word “forgive.” Sometimes, what replaces anger isn't peace - it's contempt. (Yes, I said it. Had to laugh from up here on my soapbox. 🤣)

And even if you find yourself stuck in contempt, that energy - that heat can be redirected. Not outward, but inward. Shift the care and emotional investment you once had for that person or situation back into yourself. Use it to rebuild so you can glow brighter.

Because the further you travel from the thing that burned you, the more healing you do.

And honestly, what the hell has forgiveness got to do with that?

Depending on your path in life, you’ll witness or experience deep hurt: betrayal, cruelty, abandonment, even systemic injustice. You’ll know the kind of sadness that doesn’t just sting - it reshapes you forever. And yet somehow, we’re expected to offer forgiveness as a universal solution for healing? No thanks.

Let’s look more closely.

Would I ever say “I forgive you” to someone who:

Killed someone I love?
Stole from an elderly woman, causing such distress it triggered a fatal heart attack - while her husband battled cancer?
Committed negligence that left lifelong suffering and a stolen future?
Betrayed me deeply, causing emotional damage while blaming their own inner struggle?
Defrauded me, impacting me financially and emotionally? All those lost years.
Failed me through a legal system that offers no real protection or justice?

Could I? Would I? Be honest — would you?

NO.
I can heal. I can let go of resentment — when and if I’m ready.
But I don’t owe those people the gift of forgiveness.
I don’t owe them words that make them feel lighter about what they did, especially if they’ve never shown remorse, taken responsibility, or tried to make anything right.

Let them carry the weight of their choices. That’s the consequence.
I’ll carry my dignity. That’s what survival looks like.
Otherwise, they took even more - the thing I value most: my self-respect, my values, my beliefs.

This is something I still can’t grasp and I think it’s why forgiveness feels so divisive. Because people can’t even agree on what forgiveness is.

So reflecting back to the dictionary AGAIN! 🙄
- Is forgiveness a softening? A return to emotional neutrality?
- A peace offering? A sentence you say to clear the air?
- A signal that you're over it? Some kind of moral superiority?
- Or is it just… letting go?

And if it is letting go — why does it feel like a performance?

I can live without ever saying “I forgive you.”
I can release pain and move forward.
And, I can leave you behind - permanently, and with peace.

I don’t forgive you.
You are a deplorable person.
And I’m perfectly content being far, far, far away from you.

Just space, distance, and peace entirely on my terms.

So I’m back where I started:
What the hell has forgiveness got to do with anything?

What are we forgiving sorry ? 🫣

If you’ve ever been in a legal battle, you know: no pay-out can ever give back your time, undo trauma, or erase damage to your mental health.Watching the PostOfficeScandal victims on BBCNews this morning📺 and for these:
⛓️ No cheque takes away nights spent in prison wrongly accused.
💸 No compensation erases bankruptcy.
🏠 No £ restores the career you built or returns your home.
💔 Nothing reverses the heartbreak of a divorce — the social isolation; who could really understand unless you’re literally walking the same road? 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️

The problem: you won’t meet those ‘new friends’ for another two decades ⏳. So buckle in, toughen up — it's a long journey you have to travel alone.

3,700 people are still waiting for redress 🐢. The Horizon system was introduced in 1999. Imagine reliving this for decades & still being stuck halfway through ⏸️. To discuss this over & over. Psychologically, have you really moved on? Can you, without seeing this through?

It must feel so controlling & at this point, it doesn’t just feel like it’s designed to wear people down — it is.

In a legal process, you see the tactics: waiting 'til the last deadline to ask for forms & evidence, more info & explanations, until you’re too fatigued to fight anymore. Responding is anger-inducing, painful & swearing at the post won’t help, so you bury yourself in more proof, searching for answers for your truth. They drain your energy, your WILL to go on 😞.

13 suicides linked to this scandal 💔, over 350 people have passed away without seeing justice, most suffering declining health caused by stress. Some never live long enough to see or enjoy their compensation, which is outrageous.

Life doesn’t move on so some have accepted half of what they’re due, just to put an end to this. But that’s a compromise too far ❌. They’ll never truly feel closure. Bullied into settling leaves them with an even deeper sense of injustice. No accountability. No apology. Is that really closure?

Living in constant fight-or-flight takes a toll 💥.

Public outrage ignited earlier last year when Mr Bates vs. The Post Office (TV Series) was released in Jan. 🎥 With around 14 million viewers, it forced the government to announce legislation to exonerate & compensate victims. 18 months later, it’s still going on.

With all the money spent on legal fees, couldn’t this have been settled long ago? It shouldn’t take 14 million viewers and a TV show to right a wrong.

It feels a bit like clapping for nurses on the doorstep in 2020 👏, followed by criticism just a few years later. Where’s their support now? 💔

To all the #subpostmasters and their families: you deserve better 🙏.

Thanks, BBC, for giving these people a platform to vent, a place to be heard & validated. Who else watched this morning? What are your thoughts? 👉 Does anyone really win in a system that drags on this long?